My (Nagging for 24+ hrs) Wish

Now I want to preface with that I don't usually ever wake up wishing my life away or that things would be different, but today I have had a nagging thought in my head.

Today I can't stop thinking about how I wish my children could have a summer home of sorts that we could spend all day and night lounging and relaxing at.  This and this summer home I would love for it to be on a sandy waterfront so that my kids can continue to do what they absolutely love to do: play in the sand and get wet.  I want somewhere that I am confident taking the kids alone while DH works and everyone is safe and comfortable.  I want somewhere I don't have to pack up every weekend and that we can entertain family and friends who visit.

I don't know why this thought just won't leave my head or why all of a sudden I am aching for such reality, but I am trying to figure out how I can fix it.  It is not that we cannot afford a summer home, but more that we are so busy that beyond the summer months we would be pressed to make good use of it. DH is admittedly not a handyman, so he's not into tending to landscaping and projects more than he has too.

This weekend we are going to visit a cottage/second home of a former coworker of DH, so it will either calm this nagging thought or make it even worse!  In the meantime, the kids and I have retreated to our backyard where we will continue to make amazing memories of Summer 2016.

Sunshine & happiness today and for always!

Stephanie :)

Accountability Check: Getting Back on the Bandwagon

Now that summer is here so is the dreaded bathing suit season. I am not one to usually get hung up on what I physically look like, but I do like to feel comfortable in my clothes.  Like anyone else, the winter brought on lots of hardy soups and breads plus the results of having two little ones literally just over 2 years apart.  I made a commitment to DH that I would focus on getting my body back into an appropriate shape over the summer, and he is on the bandwagon with me.

So far, both of us have been up and at 'em before our days start working out in the basement, him on his stationary bike & me on my treadmill. It is a love/hate relationship I have with my treadmill because as everyone has, there are good runs and ones that you'd much rather be somewhere else.  This time around, I have to also time my workouts to #TeamA & #TeamO's schedules so that I can actually work at working out instead of constantly being interrupted.

One of my biggest challenges is going to be the accountability to myself.  I can't start cutting corners, taking time off my run, not doing my weights etc. I find it very easy to finish my run and then sit down on the floor with the kids and start playing instead of finishing off with the weights.  I need someone more to check in on me & hold me accountable.

I am loving my time at home and can't let a day go by without working out so that it becomes second nature to jump on the treadmill before starting my day.  I have a weight goal in mind, but I also have a routine goal in mind once we head back to school in just over 8 weeks.  I want to still be able to workout before school so that I don't fall into the winter slump again.

Please keep checking in with/on me over the summer to see how the routine is going.  Don't be afraid to ask me if I got through my whole workout or if I cheated. I won't be offended!

Do you have fitness goals? If, yes, what are they? How to you keep yourself accountable and motivated?

Hello Summer Vacation!

Today was the first official day of summer vacation and if it is the one that sets the tone, I'm looking forward to the rest of the 9 weeks.

We had been away for the long weekend watching baseball and daily routine was totally mixed up. Nap time was almost non-existent and we were certainly not eating our normal diet.

I was not sure how this summer vacation would work out since it is our first with two very mobile children. Questions that kept creeping into my head included: what are we going to do all day, how am I going to entertain both at the same time with likely two different activities, what am I going to make for lunch that they will actually eat, how can I make sure that I'm able to workout each day?  Today all questions were answered! It was like a picture perfect day. I woke up just after DH left for work and waited for #TeamO to rise so that I could jump on the treadmill. In hindsight, I would have had time to workout before he woke up, but I needed to play it safe to not be interrupted. #TeamO and I headed for the basement for a long run on the treadmill to the tunes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and #TeamA joined us part way through. We spent the better part of the rest of the morning playing outside in the backyard with a mix of blowing bubbles, sandbox and climbing on the structure.  Lunch brought me some stress, but the kids seemed to enjoy a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  (I'm not sure why I keep thinking I need to make a whole meal for lunch time when this and that work just as well, if not better).  Then came the coveted nap time!  This has to be a highlight of our days at home as it sets the tone for the rest of the day and into the evening.

After dinner we headed back outside for more bubble blowing, sand boxing and a new feature...a dish pan of water! #TeamO is a stereotypical little boy that loves mud, trucks, tractors and more mud. I was thinking how I could help fuel his curiosity in all things dirty and remembered I had brought home a white dishpan/bin from school. It would be perfect for outdoor play!  I filled it up with water and watched the excitement explode.  He came out dirtier, happier and certainly more tired than usual.  Once we headed inside, he chose 3 different stories to read before bed and at the end of the third one, he headed straight for his bed.  No fight to sleep tonight!

I can't wait to see what tomorrow and the rest of the week has in store.  I've got a plan to go for a walk to the grocery store in the morning after my workout to pick up a few fresh snacks. It's supposed to be beautiful out, so a walk should be perfect.

Keep checking back in to see what adventures we get up to over the next several weeks.

Sunshine & happiness, today and for always!

Stephanie :)

Hockey. Is. OVER!

Hockey. Is. OVER.  Yes, you heard it right...hockey is over. Over. Over. Over!  Yesterday marked the end of DH's hockey school for the season.  We DH has been in full hockey mode since about November and to put this in perspective, #TeamA & #TeamO are just learning how to skate so he is running a hockey school for other people's children.  DH spent much of his paternity leave organizing the behind the scenes aspects of the school in between parenting our two amigos.

This was the first time that balancing home and work life has really been a challenge as now we were both back to our full time jobs and we had two amigos.  There were many days that although I was putting up a brave & positive face, I was crumbling and melting down on the inside because I just could do it anymore.  I couldn't parent and I couldn't teach; both were demanding so much more of me than I was able to offer.

Throughout all this, our home looked much like a sports store with equipment & apparel strewn all over.  Throw in a curious little monkey in #TeamO and you've got yourself a part-time job trying to keep a lid on things.

It was 4 months of single parenting on nights and weekends when DH was out running practices, convening tournaments and coaching games when he had a chance.  I will admit that on more than one occasion I hit up the McD's drive-thru just so that my children would actually eat the meal I put in front of them without coaxing and bribes.

All in all, I hope that the players and parents that participated in some and any capacity this year understand the sacrifice and dedication that not only DH puts into the hockey school but as well as our entire family.  While he was out coaching other people's children he was missing many "firsts" of his own children, quirky comments around the dinner table and the endless cuddles on weekend mornings while we all watched cartoons in the big bed.

Over the next 5 months we will all settle in and enjoy being a family of 4 again so that come November, we will be prepared to lose DH again for another hockey season.

Until then, it will be sunshine & happiness in our house!

Stephanie :)

One Act That Changed Everything

I haven't been online a whole lot since school started two and a half weeks ago, but I took some time tonight to try and catch up what was happening on Facebook.  I was checking my "notifications" when it said I had "memories" from past posts or updates I had made from years past. I usually read them and think nothing more about what I felt or was expressing, but tonight one stuck out to me...

On this day 8 years ago I made the decision that would change my life and my family life forever.  I had left the only "professional" job I had ever known, my safe spot, and what I thought at the time was my dream job with the Ottawa 67's.  I remember September 22nd, 2007 like it was yesterday.  I had gone into the office, and was going to bite the bullet.  I walked into the president's office and resigned...one week before the biggest night of the season, but I just had to leave.  I said that I was going to go back to school and see where that lead me.  Inside I was scared, afraid yet relieved.  My dream job was becoming work for me.  I had just recently gotten married and the life style of working for a sports franchise just wasn't what I could do for the rest of my life.  I had met some of the most amazing individuals and friends one could ever ask for. I was involved in so many incredible events that I felt there was nothing more to challenge me.  Going back to school was going to be the challenge I needed.

I registered at the University of Ottawa for the winter semester and started out on a career path that I never thought could be so rewarding.  Over the last 8 years I have met even more incredible people, experienced so many unbelievable opportunities and been challenged professionally and personally beyond my wildest imagination each and every day.

So thank you Facebook, for giving me the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for what the last 8 years has brought me.

Stephanie :)

#TeamAmelie's Reading…sort of!

Just a quick post that I've been wanting to write but haven't had enough words to do a post, but too many to do in a Tweet!  When #TeamAmelie was born (and even before that) I was addimit that any gift she was going to receive from anyone it was to be a book.  I wanted her from a very young age to love looking at books, listening to stories and to be surrounded by literature.  And today I think it's paying off.

I was sitting in our loft this morning trying to balance #TeamOlivier in one hand and check my email in the other when behind me is a little voice reciting her current favourite book: Colours vs Shapes by Mike Boldt.  

We have read this book multiple times a day for the last couple of months and today #TeamAmelie was recounting her own version partially from memory and from looking at the pictures.  She was SOOOO proud of herself when she noticed that I had turned to listen to her.  She immediately wanted me to read her the story so that she could finish the sentences before I could and add in her own expressions.  She makes me laugh every. single. time. we read it.

What book gets read the most often in your house?

Sunshine & happiness today & forever.

Stephanie :)

Career vs Home Woman

When I was 8 years old if someone asked me if I was going to be a career woman or a stay at home mom I would have replied stay at home mom without a doubt.  I was always toting around my Baby Shivers doll that looked like (and smelt like) a real baby, dressing her and taking care of her as if she was real.  As I grew older, around the age of 15-17 if you had asked me the same question again I would have switched to career woman.  I had a vision in sight and I wasn't going to let anyone or anything get between it and me. It cost and/or didn't allow me to pursue personal relationships for so long because I was going to be a career woman and didn't have time for those distractions.

Fast-forward to 2013 and #TeamAmelie was born.  At the time I had just landed my first permanent teaching gig when I first found out I was pregnant.  I can remember sitting in the parking lot of the school before going into the interview and calling DH crying because I didn't think I could go in because I was afraid I'd throw up everywhere.  Morning, afternoon, night…ok ALL DAY & NIGHT sickness had me rethinking what I had just done a few weeks earlier.  I digress…Here I am pregnant with our first child, land my first permanent teaching position and I have to decide which I want more!? I was determined to work as long as I physically could because I'm not very good at sitting & waiting for something that doesn't have a definite arrival time.  I was also determined that I was going to get back in the classroom just six months after she was born.

See, I have heard of the horror stories of starting back into a classroom part way through the year because you can't make it your own.  The students refer back to their previous teacher (your replacement, but as far as their concerned their teacher), they are set in their routines, rolling with the replacement's expectations.  How could I break this in February? Also, how was I going to stay home and live the pace of a newborn/toddler after living the pace of a 10,000 person per game hockey career & the life of a university student for the last 10 years?  Thus it donned on me…I'm going to go back to the classroom after 6 months off and DH can stay home with #TeamAmelie.  I'm not leaving her with a stranger at daycare, I know DH will text me throughout the day, and worse case scenario they both end up at my inlaws and my mother in law saves the day.

So many people told me I was crazy, that I'd change my mind once I had the baby, why would I want to get back to work- there's only misery there.  You name it, I heard it.  I didn't let that sway me though.  I loved my job, my sense of accomplishment at the end of the day and I needed to feel like I did something each day.  Don't get me wrong, I did A LOT with #TeamAmelie and I wouldn't have traded that time for the world, but I also knew where I belonged and that was in the classroom.  I ran into who at the time I would call an acquaintance at the mall one day and we got chatting about being off on leave and the adjustment blah blah blah and then she asked me "so you'll go back to work in a year and then what?" I stopped her right there in her tracks and announced that I would be going back to work in the fall and DH was going to try his hand at parenting.  For the first time ever, she was the first person who agreed and applauded me for my decision.  I could have hugged her right there in the mall!  She too confessed to me that she didn't think she could stay home for the full year because so too is a busy body and is passionate for her career.  I instantly felt a connection: someone who understood my desire for a career and for being a parent.  I don't think I could have a full appreciation for either one without the other, but I had to be honest with myself and the world if I was going to make it work.

Fast-forward again- #TeamOlivier is born two years and four days after #TeamAmelie and I still had the same feeling as I did the first time.  I worked right up to the bitter end, but this time I decided that I was going to get back into the classroom before the end of the school year.  Yes, just 4 months after #TeamOlivier was born, I will be heading back to my place of passion & comfort.  Like a script written two years ago, people questioned my decision, my sanity and at times if I was a real person. Although our intentions are a little bit different this time (ie. we will get the whole summer off together in what otherwise would have only been 2 non-consecutive weeks), I still feel as determined and passionate about my job.

Having two kids is a whole new ball game, especially at the ages they are, so balancing the home/work scale is going to take some adjustment for everyone.  When I go back in just under two weeks I will be returning just half days, to try & meet a healthy balance of career vs home woman.

I understand there are financial constraints to sharing the parental leave, and that not every father is given the opportunity to stay at home with his children; however, I think we need to be honest with ourselves and our partners to find the right balance between all of our desires whether they be at home or at work.

What would you or did you do with having children and your career? Were you as definitive as I was in knowing where your passion lied and what you wanted?  I'd love to hear from you.

Sunshine & happiness today and forever.

Stephanie :)

My Brother is All Grown Up!

It is the eve of my little brother is officially growing up! Tomorrow Matt will marry his beautiful girlfriend Erin on what is surely going to be the hottest day in May.  I can't believe it, my brother is getting MARRIED!  While I knew this day would come someday, I just can't full grasp that it is here.  I still see my brother as the skinny, blonde-haired kid who would drag me out to the garage in the late fall to be the stand in goalie for his one-on-one road hockey games or the kid that would call me up and invite me down to visit him just so that his hockey-buddy-filled apartment could be cleaned/sanitized. This can't be happening already!

Life is passing us all so fast, but I am not sure that it needed to go so fast that my LITTLE BROTHER is getting MARRIED!!  I can remember the first time I met Erin it was after one of Matt's games that he was coaching in Brockville.  We were in his (dungeon) apartment and at this he wasn't admitting to us that they were dating. Strangely enough, Erin knew what cupboard Matt kept the tea bags (which is strange in itself because Matt doesn't drink tea!) and there were two tooth brushes in the bathroom (which I discovered after doing my cleaning inspection!).  That night Erin was quiet as Matt & Marc rehashed the game and conversed like no one else was there. I didn't know anything about her so I was hard for me to strike up a conversation...I can't remember if I even did strike one up...

Fast forward about 6 months or so and I get a message from said brother asking me what I think of the house he & Erin bought...but wait a second I thought she wasn't your girlfriend but just a friend?!  And since when were you looking to buy a house, and when did you go to the bank and why didn't you ask me what I thought of the house BEFORE the sold sign went up?! This IS my brother though!

Matt & Erin have grown to be such a complete couple.  They brought Neumann into their lives (and coincidently ours) and they just make each other tick.  They find a way to be independent yet come together to spend quality time together (which makes me jealous!) and they are supportive of each other's passions.  I can totally sympathize with Erin what it's like to be all but officially single during hockey season, yet she seems so patient with Matt. (I on the other hand am not as patient with a never ending hockey schedule.)  They are both very hard working and determined to reach their goals.  This will lead them to amazing heights.

So as I go to bed tonight, I still can't believe that my brother is growing up and that I will have a new sister!

Erin, welcome to the family and we are so excited for you an Matt.  We are excited to see your relationship with Matt continue to blossom.  Thank you for making Matt so happy.  He has become so grounded and focused since meeting you.  Remember, take a deep breath and take it all in; tomorrow will pass by so fast that before you know it you'll be dying to get your dress off and into something lazy.  We love you and can't wait to see what's next for the both of you.

Sunshine & happiness today & forever.

Stephanie, Marc, #TeamAmelie & #TeamOlivier :)

Are you where you thought you would be?

Nothing like starting off the month with a fastball right down the middle of the plate!

I don't know if I am where I thought I would be.  I mean, I'm currently on mat leave with #TeamOlivier so to say that I am where I thought I would be in that respect the answer would be yes.  I always knew I wanted to have a family and with more than one child.  That's where I am at now.

Professionally, I think I am ahead of where I always thought I would be.  I never imagined only supply teaching for one day before getting a long term replacement placement that would lead to a permanent contract opportunity.  Thus, all within 1 year.  Yes, I have worked hard and put lots of time into furthering my professional understanding, but I think it has paid off multi-fold.

When I look at the opportunities I have been given to further myself professionally, I sometimes think that I am ahead of my time.  I have only been in the profession 4 years, but been granted the chance to attend professional development sessions and presentations that have benefitted my teaching enormously.  I get giddy sometimes thinking of the opportunities that I have had (especially in the last 2 years) and who else has been in the PD with me and their average age or teaching experience (by far I have been the youngest).

Although I think I am where I want to be professionally and personally, I am not happy to stay status quo.  I am always looking for the latest workshop, seminar, webcast or book to help advance my understandings and ability to deliver the best program possible to my students.  Teaching is not my first career and one main reason I get into teaching was for the constant, every day challenge it brings.  No two days, two lessons or two classes are ever alike and that makes me thrive.  The challenge keeps the fire burning inside to want more.

Sunshine & happiness today & forever.

Stephanie :)

Ahhhh...Life has Changed!

Life. Has. Changed! 3 simple words that when put together in the same sentence have me shaking my head and wondering what I have got myself into!  Back in January I made my resolution to take the time to write a few times a week, however I didn't realize how life would change a few short weeks later!

Our family has grown by one, in welcoming #TeamOlivier to the clan and needless to say life as we knew it before is long gone.  We are over joyed now that he is here, but his non-sleeping routine and the constant need to be held has put me back.  When #TeamAmelie was born, she was the constant sleeper and amazing traveller that I didn't quite have to slow down at all.  Granted, I now have a 2 year old and a new born, but #TeamOlivier certainly doesn't have the same sleep patterns as the rest of the world.  He is also a grazer when he eats, so it feels like I am constantly feeding him and that he can never get enough.  Regardless, this little character is filling our hearts and our home with so much fun.

I have been making a list of posts and updates I need to get writing, so hopefully I'll be able to get back on top of things very shortly.

Until then, melt with these two little faces!

Sunshine & happiness today & everyday!

Stephanie :)

New Year, New Commitment

WOW...I never knew I was so neglectful of my writing and reflection.  Life has certainly been taking a hold of my time and creating wonderful moments and memories, and now that I look back at them I wish I had taken the time to sit and write about them.  None the less, it's a new year so a new opportunity to make a commitment to take some time and write about life.

Over the past few years of my online absence I have established a wonderful teaching career and started a beautiful family.  Neither are in a stage of completeness, as I strive to improve my teaching each and every day, and I am in the final weeks of adding baby number 2 to the mix at home.

As 2015 is now here, I am making the world known of my "resolution" to make an effort to document our crazy, zoo like life a few times a week and to reflect on my teaching.

Now to gather my thoughts to know where to start writing & reflecting.

Stephanie :)